The Big Picture
by Cathy Faye Rudolph
he angels, cherubim and seraphim disappeared suddenly, and I offered Him the white folding chair I reserve for clients.
"Now, Mr. God...."
"No, just `God' is fine. No need to stand on ceremony."
"Ah, yes. Thanks. So.....God.....you want a multimedia presentation about Heaven. May I ask why?"
"Promotional considerations-you know, keeping Heaven in the mind's eye. And there's nothing like keeping up with the technology to wow 'em."
"Any particular software you want this authored in, God?"
"HyperCard or SuperCard is fine. No need to go cross-platform: those sheep are a lost cause already."
"I understand. Now, is this a text-based promo? Quoting passages? Hypertext linking?"
"Oh no, I want sound and video and pictures in the promo. The Creation, in time-lapse. Conversations with Moses. The Heavens opening. Sodom and Gomorrah, in slo-mo. The whole thing, very lush, in 24-bit color and 44kHz sound. Biblical in proportions. Sorry, that's a God joke."
"Yes, humor, very nice. So the presentation will be heavy on the multimedia implementation. I assume this will be on CD ROM."
"No, actually, due to certain obscure Angel union rules, it has to fit on an 800K floppy."
"But, that much sound, video, pictures, all on one 800K floppy? That would take a miracle!"
"Oh. I see."
I wrote "proprietary compression technology" on my notepad.
from And Another Thing... © 1994, 1995 Cathy Faye Rudolph.
Contents © 1994, 1995 Wayward Fluffy Publications.
Last revised: August 16, 1995 by Wayward Fluffy Publications.